“The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams.” – Oprah Winfrey

As a child I was lucky to have a childhood that involved only my imagination. I was a standard latch-key child and after school hours I was pretty much left to my own devices.

My parents were busy working to make ends meet, my father was a cab driver and my mother worked in F&B and retail. My parents were not educated since they came from a generation where only one child, usually a younger son would have the opportunity to attend university and my parents being the elder siblings were expected to go out and earn a living to help their parents support the family which is what they did.

As a latch-key kid, I had no rules at home; my parents never really knew what I did after school or in school. They never knew when my exams were and they never knew whether I had any homework. Yet, it is because of the lack of regulations I became rather disciplined and creative on my own. I love to read and read anything I could get my hands on. I had lots of imagination and I wrote my journals, I wrote to my pen pals from lands far far away and I had my fair share of imaginary friends, playing make-believe games and running make-believe errands (sad, I know.) My parents had no expectations of what I would become, in fact they had little time to nurture or even develop any gifts or talents I may have and I thank them for it.

I thank them because they had not created any dreams for me neither have they imposed any of their beliefs on me. As a result, I believed that I can be whatever it is I wanted to be. I grew up feeling invincible, feeling confident of what I have to offer and then I entered the working world and for a brief moment I felt small, a lot less invincible but I overcame this. I overcame this only because intrinsically I had not developed any self-limiting beliefs and I overcame this because I was never forced into living my parents’ dreams.

I have always been living my own dreams, of course I have had times when I had to work in some places just so I have income and of course I have had times when I hated the work I did but the option to leave any job was always mine. The option to pursue anything else was and still is always mine. I have had moments where I did not knew where I belonged but because I was never pigeon-holed into believing that only a certain path is mine to take I have always found other places to go to. Now, I have come full circle because I am back to being invincible, back to the time when I knew I have real gifts to offer, I am back to knowing that yes I can be whatever it is I want to be for which I am ever so grateful.

The question to ask yourself: Are you living your own dream or someone else’s dreams?

This someone else might be your parents, your spouse, your family, your relatives and even your friends. Often people around you want to push you into a version of themselves or to pursue a dream or dreams that they haven’t been able to. Sometimes these people might even want the opposite for you, they might want you to be miserable and not pursue a dream that they have always wanted to.

In the modern society many live according to what society tells them the status quo is. You see successful people around you and you might think, I want that. I want the same car, the same lifestyle and sometimes even the same spouse! You would also think that if other people achieved all of this doing what they do then I should just follow the same dream so that I can get all of this too!

In traditional cultures many live the dreams that their parents lay out for them. For example in the Asian culture, it is common for parents to expect their children to become doctors, lawyers or at the very least a dentist or a pharmacist. In some cultures it is also common for the parents to expect their children to follow in their footsteps and take on the same trade or career as their father.

I have met many people who are in the careers that their parents tell them to follow and often they are miserable because they are unhappy doing what they do and feel trapped because they do not want to disappoint their parents. There are others that I have met who are miserable because they are in a career that pays them enough to support the lifestyle they think would bring them happiness and yet does nothing to fulfill them emotionally. These people are keeping up with the Joneses without thinking whether the same things make them happy!

You know that you are in the same entrapment when you answer this way when asked about how you feel about your job, you say: “I don’t really like what I do but I need the salary to pay for my xyz.” You may also say “I can’t stand my job but my parents would be so upset if I do something else” or you may also say “I would pursue my business idea but my friends tell me it’s a dumb idea and that it would never take off.”

The reality is this, you will never be Happy if you lived your life according to other people’s dreams.

To create your happiness you will need to have the courage to start seeking your own dreams and then take the steps to realise them.

Figuring out what your dreams are takes tenacity because you will lose faith especially when the people you love are against you doing just that but you must for your own happiness.

Think of it this way, you are the one living your life and you only have one. You cannot rewind time, you cannot live this life again so why not be happy in this lifetime living your own dreams?

Start questioning yourself today.

Are you living your own dreams? Do you struggle with getting the courage to start living your own dream? Share your thoughts with me below.