When I was first starting out in the corporate world, I did not have any clue what kind of work would make me happy. I arrived at the decision that marketing would be my career of choice because a) it is not accounting b) marketing is a job I can do anywhere for any industry c) It is a skillset I can bring with me whether into a fulltime job, a freelance role or even as an entrepreneur.

Now, let me emphasize the skillset bit. I have always envied highly skilled individuals such as surgeons, lawyers, engineers because I have often felt like I missed out on being a person with specialised skills because I did not have the resources nor the attitude to undergo the extensive training and education required for such skills. Hence, I decided that acquiring a different kind of skillset is necessary for me to become such a person. Coupled that mindset with my immediate need for rent and food, I decided that I would go into marketing as per the criteria above.  

What I did not foresee though was that being good at something does not equate to being passionate about it. There are some people who say that you do not seek passion and instead when you get good at something, you become passionate about it. That’s like telling the Karate Kid that he will eventually be excited and passionate about waxing on and off because I guess he will get quite good at it eventually, based on the amount of time he had to put into it. So, no, I do not buy into that notion.

I think you can feel a sense of purpose for something you are not passionate about just as the purpose behind the waxing was to instil discipline, mindfulness and patience. You can feel a sense of purpose behind the job that pays rent but doesn’t fulfil you emotionally, but you won’t eventually feel passionate it.

I had made a marketing career as my goal without bearing in mind that this was not a passion. This was a skillset that would eventually help me get started on my entrepreneurial dreams and thus a tool but passion is more than just a skillset. It encompasses the mission you choose to dedicate yourself to. Also, I had made a marketing career my goal thinking that I would eventually be happy as a corporate high flyer. I had visions of being a CEO in a large corporation (in fact, as a child, my cousin and I would play make-believe office situations where we worked in an office and we always had important paperwork, calls or meetings to attend. Side note: my parents has never worked in an office so this wasn’t their influence!)

I thought I can make do with being miserable right now for the exchange of a future happiness. Obviously, I was wrong. As I worked my way up the ladder it became increasingly clear to me that I was miserable as a corporate warrior. I hated the commute, I hated cubicles, I hated eating in crowded areas because it is lunch time and most of all I hated hierarchy and politics. Life is too short for these things people!

Amidst all the misery, I couldn’t figure out what else would I do if I wasn’t in marketing working for someone else. I had lost sight of who I am and what I wanted. I had lost sense of my real self, my identity outside of this corporate person. I was hinging my entire happiness on work and I was hinging it on work that wasn’t even my passion. I didn’t know what it meant to work on your purpose, what the hell was my purpose anyway?

Eventually, after years of study, years of humming and hawing, years of self-discovery and soul searching. I am finally at the point where my work no longer defines my identity. What I do and what I create which is what work is anyway, is part of who I am of course, but I am more than that.

Knowing who I am, knowing what my true self really wants in life has changed how I approach goals. Most goals go from the outside in, earn x amount of money and it will make you happy on the inside. But you need to start from the inside out. Start with who you really are, what makes you happy, what do you yearn for, what do you need, what do you want, what do you value, what do you fear, what do you believe in and then set your goals based on those things that you discover about yourself.  

When goals are set this way, you start to get a real sense of purpose, a real fire in your belly for you to move forward and charge ahead. Your goals are made up of who you are but they do not make you who you are.